My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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