Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
