OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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