We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
