Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
