You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
