at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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