she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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