i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
