If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
