Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
