he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize