I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
