Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
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The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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