he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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