You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
