my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
