Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
