i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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