After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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