Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
