Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
