I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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