she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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