all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
