I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
