This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
