I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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