she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
