I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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