I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
