he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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