Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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