His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
