omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
