he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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