but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
