I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
