Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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