i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
