There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
