im drinking this country out of the recession.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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