why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
