You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
