I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
