woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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