She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
