Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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