So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
