Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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