Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
