32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
