Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
