It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
