Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
