maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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