I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
