plz talk dirty to me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
