It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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