I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I deserve this hangover.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
