I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
