btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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