you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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