i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
