who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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