this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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