He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
