i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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