At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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